I hate the turning of one year into another. For me it means I am one year further away from the moment I first held Elena. I do not celebrate New Year, nor do I partake in the messages going around wishing everyone a happy new year. There is nothing happy about these few days.
Today is my daughter Elena’s, my first borns, 6th birthday. She should be here with us, we should be showering her in hugs and kisses and spoiling her on her big day. Instead, the week between Christmas and January 1st, I cry, I curse and I spoil my son, Elena’s little brother, like mad. I buy him toys, I buy him clothes, I do anything possible to compensate for her not being here. Nothing can compensate for that. But for Alexander’s sake, I go all out. We bake, we celebrate, we open champagne and we have a party for her and Alexander always looks to the sky and shouts “I love you Elena”. It breaks my heart but also warms it. I am so lucky to have my son, but so unlucky not to have my daughter here too.
Happy Birthday my darling little Elena.
Grandma, Umpy, Auntie, Alexander, Mummy and Daddy all love you very much.
Alexander asked for ‘Frozen’ themed cake this year for Elena’s birthday. It really didn’t go to plan, but I am sure we will love eating it in her memory.